Quotes by Sri Sri Ravishankar

Seva / Service

* If you are not having good experiences in meditation, then do more seva you will gain merit and your meditation will be deeper. When you bring some relief or freedom to someone through seva, good vibrations and blessings come to you.
Seva brings merit; merit allows you to go deep in meditation; meditation brings back your smile.
* When you make service the sole purpose in life, it eliminates fear, focuses your mind, and gives you meaning
* Be grateful for any opportunity to do seva.


Love

* Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence.
* Here are the signs of love. When you love someone, you see nothing wrong with them.
* When you love someone, you want to see them always happy and you want them to have the best.
* Love is the highest strength, yet it makes you absolutely weak
* Love cannot tolerate distance, and hatred cannot tolerate nearness.
* You can experience love, but you cannot describe it or express it totally.
* Love is beyond sight, touch, smell, taste, and sound.
* When there is Love, there is no ego; ego dissolves like the dew drops with the sun.
* In the company of one who is living Love, you also cant but spring into that Love.
* Love is that phenomenon of dissolving, disappearing, merging, becoming one with.
* Love is that phenomenon of total letting go.
* The seers, the seen, and the process of seeing all merge. The knowledge, the knower, and the known, they all merge, become one & that is Divine Love.


Anger

* In ignorance anger is cheap and a smile is costly
* Make your smile cheaper and you anger expensive.
* The anger of the enlightened is a blessing




Silence

* Silence is the goal of all answers. If an answer does not silence the mind, it is no answer
* Only Silence is complete
* Smiling with all the existence is Silence
* Purpose of words is to create silence.




GOD

* When you know you own God you will not be in a hurry to get something out of God.
* When you have infinite patience, you will realize God belongs to you.
* God does not test you because he knows you completely - your past, present and future
* God is calling you every moment.
* God is the Seer himself. Who sees---that is God
* God is love. Being in love is sharing that love.
* This entire universe is made up of God. There is nothing outside God.
* God is responsibility, total responsibility.




Knowledge

* Be a Gopal. Be a friend in knowledge
* Be a friend in knowledge. Uplift each other in knowledge
* Knowledge is a burden if it does not set you free.
* Knowledge keeps everything fresh.
* In science you have knowledge first, and then faith follows. In spirituality, faith comes first, and then Knowledge follows.
* When you follow fun, misery follows you. When you follow Knowledge, fun follows you.
* Illusion is error of perception and knowing illusion as illusion is Knowledge.
* Suffering is a product of limited knowledge.
* For one who has awakened in knowledge, there is no more suffering.




The Spiritual Master / Guru

* The master is a doorway
* The master is presence. The world is relativity and relativity has limitations. Presence is unlimited.
* If you are not feeling close to the master, it is because of you, because of your mind, because of your ego concepts.
* A master is like an ocean. Ocean is there, readily available. It does not reject anybody.
* If a Master is not hollow and empty, he is no Master at all.




Surrender

* Do not say that you want to surrender. Just know that you already are surrendered.
* A person who cannot surrender cannot be self reliant
* When you are shaken, remember the foundation of responsibility is surrender.
* The greatest power is in surrender, surrender to the Divine.




Sadhana

* Root out boredom through deep and continued meditation
* If you are unable to meditate because your mind is chattering too much, just feel that you are a little stupid, and then you will be able to sink deep into meditation
* Meditation erases the impressions and improves the expression
* Anytime you are confused, your mind is in conflict, do asanas, sit in asana. You will see, right away clarity comes.
* Effect of asana is clearing out of all conflicts, duality.
* The seed of negativity and the tendency for conflict in you can only be annihilated by Sadhana.




Satsang

* Give quality time to the divine, it will be rewarded. Give satsang and meditation your highest priority
* One who does not do satsang is like a wild animal. Satsang alone makes you civilized.
* Satsang is the shelter from changing time and its harsh influence on life.




Freedom

* Break through the barrier of the rational mind and find freedom for yourself
* Freedom is your very nature. Only with freedom do joy, generosity and other human values blossom
* Just an intention to be free makes you immediately free.
* Discipline protects freedom. You can choose to focus either on freedom or discipline, and this makes you happy or unhappy.
* Freedom without discipline is like a country without a defense.


Karma

* When you praise someone, you take on their good karma. When you blame someone, you take on their bad karma
* Performing actions cannot eliminate karma. Only through grace can the bondage of karma be burnt.
* Prarabdha karma cannot be changed. Sanchita karma can be changed by spiritual practices.




Respect

* Respect for the Self is faith and faith is being open
* Have respect for the Self and no one can take your self respect
* Someone does not need to be great in order to be respected. Respecting life makes you great.




Ego

* The "I" or ego in you is a tiny atom
* Ego is separateness, non-belongingness
* The head level is safe for the ego. The heart level breaks the ego. The solve level dissolves the ego
* The inability to communicate occurs because of ego
* Someone experiences bliss, and that bliss, itself, becomes a trip for the ego. So the ego, in turn, destroys the infinity, the joy, the bliss.



Death

* Divinity dwells in the void as well as in celebration.
* Death brings you in touch with the reality of life.
* Wake up an see your life is too short. The realization that life is short will bring dynamism to your life.



Breath

* Breath is the link between your body and your spirit and your mind



Miscellaneous


# Drop all the divisions (of the mind), altogether. This is what is holding you back from enlightenment. This is what is holding you back from your very nature. Drop those right now.





# Your own judgement brings the barrier, separates you, makes you behave so funny. When you are judging, you are judging your own self, but you are super-imposing it on this, or this, or this, or this, or this.





# The entire universe is just an expression, projection, of the Being, of the Self.
Within this small body, you are able to experience the infinite space.




# Though enlightenment is one in the world, there are many different flavors.




# A poor man celebrates the new year once a year. A rich man celebrates each day. But the richest man celebrates every moment.




# Abiding in the self you become the valentine for the whole world. Spirit is the valentine of matter and matter is the valentine of the spirit.




# Enlightenment is beyond seasons like the evergreen coconut tree.




# The world appears imperfect on the surface but underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides; imperfection shows off.




# Sincerity is being in touch with your Depth.




# A big Mind that is God. And your mind is part of that big Mind.




# You are total. You are full. You have all that you need. Do not underestimate yourself.




# A devotee will never fall. He cannot fall. There is no chance for it.




# Abundance is a state of mind within you. If you just look at "lack," the lack increases in life.




# The best "puja," the best form of worship, is to be happy, to be grateful.




# Over-indulgence in anything reduces the beauty.




# Behind every activity, pleasant, unpleasant, chaotic, harmonious, is one Divinity.




# Basing your life on words is very superficial.




# Whatever you want for others will happen to you.




# See a mistake as a mistake, not as "my" or "his" mistake. "My" means guilt; "his" means anger.




# "Want" is always hanging on to the "I." When the "I" itself is dissolving, "want" also dissolves, disappears.




# See, ninety percent of this body is only space, and space, and space. And what is in this space? That is mind; that is consciousness; that is intelligence.




# Without being critical, the intellect cannot progress. But that criticism should not come from the heart; it can come from the throat.




# If any has to be given, this is the blessing that has to be given: "Be devoid of feverishness."




# The Self is the center of the whole creation.




# If you are passionate, be passionate for the highest, the most wonderful, the most beautiful. Be passionate for this entire creation-everything is so beautiful




# Truth cannot be understood through proof. Anything that can be proven can be disproven also. Truth is beyond proof or disproof.




# Take a while and just relax. Repose in the depth of your being.




# Forgetfulness is one of the greatest blessings.




# Events cannot stick on to you. You are like the pure crystal. Niranjanah---untouched, unstained by anything.




# Beauty has three levels: indication, expression, and exposure. Spirituality indicates, art expresses, and science exposes.




# You are Divine. You are part of me. I am part of you.




# Life is a package of surprise gifts for you.




# When heart speaks and heart listens, harmony is produced. It is always so. When head talks and head listens, argument is produced.

VASANDI'S BLOG: A Clip From The Last Legion -

VASANDI'S BLOG: A Clip From The Last Legion -

Sunset At Mt. Everest

Happy Birth Day To You

Shahid Bhagat Singh

Origin of Kayasthas - Prag Shrivastava

Ancient temple of Shri Chitraguptajee in KhajurahoAccording to Hindu Vedic Scriptures and Hindu Mythology, the world was created by Bramha, the Creator. Lord Bramha first created 16 Sons from various parts of his own body. Chitragupt, his 17th creation, is believed to be created from Lord Bramha's Mind & Soul.
Shree Chitraguptjee is divine incarnation in human form, and is called Kayastha since he is the only creation of Lord Bramha who was created in entirety (kaya) from the Lord's body, unlike the other 16 sons who were created only from various parts of the body. Shree Chitraguptjee (and hence the Kayastha's) were accorded a dual-caste status, namely Kshatriya (Warrior) and Brahmin (The Learned).
The Kayastha trace their genealogy from Lord Chitragupta. It is said that after Lord Brahma had created the four Varnas (Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas, and Shudras), Yama (Dharamraj) requested Lord Brahma to help him record the deeds, both good and evil, of men and to administer justice.
According to the scriptures, Lord Brahma went into meditation for 11,000 years and when he opened his eyes he saw a man holding a pen and ink-pot in his hands, as well as a sword girdled to his waist. Lord Brahma spoke: ``Thou hast been created from my body (Kaya); therefore, shall thy progeny be known as the Kayasthas. Thou hast been conceived in my mind (Chitra) and in secrecy (gupta); thy name shall also be Chitragupta.
Brahma then enjoined him to dispense justice and punish those who violated the dharma. Thus, the Kayasthas were accorded a dual caste, Brahman/Kshatriya.
In the legends of Chitragupta as well as in the Vedas, he is referred to as the greatest king, while the rest are "Rajakas," or little kings.

चित्र इद राजा राजका इदन्यके यके सरस्वतीमनु ।
पर्जन्य इव ततनद धि वर्ष्ट्या सहस्रमयुता ददत ॥ RIG VEDA Book 8/ Hymn 21/ Stanza 18

In the Garud Purana, Chitragupta is hailed as the first man to give the script.
"Chitragupta namastubhyam vedaksaradatre" (Obeisance to Chitragupta, the giver of letters)
The Rig Veda mentions an invocation to be made to Chitragupta before offering sacrifice. There is also a special invocation to Chitragupta as Dharmraj (Lord of Justice) to be made at the performance of shradh or other rituals.
"Om tat purushaya vidmahe Chitragupta dhimahi tena lekha prachodayata."
The priests also pay reverence to Shri Chitragupta :
"Yamam Dharmarajya Chitraguptaya vain namah."'
Lord Chitragupta is the Athi Devathai for Kethu, one of the Navagrahas, and those who worship Chitragupta, would be bestowed with prosperity. Also the evil effects of Kethu during its transit period would be mitigated.
The birthday of Shree Chitraguptaji is celebrated on Yamadwitiya and Chitraguptajayanti Puja is performed on this day.
The privileges of performing religious duties related to Yamaraj and Chitraguptaji are reserved by the Kayasthas. Of these, one of most important is the Chitraguptajayanti Puja. The greatness of this yajna is that whoever performs it, is spared the punishments of hell, whatever his records of deeds be.
The ancient story related to this is now told. There was a mighty king, who had subjugated the whole world by his ambition to be the supreme King of Kings. The stories of his cruel deeds had spread to all the corners of the world. His name was uttered only with great respect and a greater fear at heart, for everyone knew that his deeds were vile and extreme. His name was Sudass, the King of Saurastra, his capital, from where he ruled his vast empire with an iron fist. He was known to be one of most ‘Adharmi’ (nearest meaning: ‘irreligious and one who crosses the threshold of Dharma’) and perpetrator of ‘Paap’ (nearest meaning: ‘sins’). All through his extensive kingdom, it was known that their king had never ever done a ‘Punya’ in his evil life. This King was fond of hunting, and once on a hunting spree, was lost in the jungle. Unable to find his way out, and unknown to fears of any kind, he decided to see what his jungles were like. He went on exploring the jungles when he heard the sound certain ‘Mantras’ coming from North. He headed for the place where the mantras where being chanted. There he found a few Brahmins performing a yajna and few common people sitting to witness this. The king lost his cool on seeing a puja being performed without his consent. He thus spoke with thunder in his voice:
“I am King Sudass, the King of Kings. Salute me you foolish men. Who are you and what are you doing here? I demand an answer.”
The group of priests kept on chanting their mantra and paid no heed to the angry king, all the while people sitting at some distance and witnessing the yajna being performed kept mum, being afraid of the king. On being so ignored the king lost his cool and raised his sword to hit the head priest. Seeing this, the youngest of the priests stood up and spoke thus:
“Stop! King Sudass, stop! Don’t turn this opportunity into a disaster. You have been sent here not to be condemned but saved.”
On hearing these words the King became interested and said, “You, young boy, have great courage and knowledge for your age. Will you elaborate on what you have just said?”
The young priest said to the King, “O Sudass, you call yourself the King of Kings: how mistaken you are! When you die you would be subjugated to such punishments that your pride will vanish in thin air. You want to know who these men are and what are they doing and what is the purport of my speech. Then listen:
We are the sons of Lord Chitragupta, whom the great Rigveda call the true King of Kings, and whose title you are not worth stealing. We are Kayasthas and we are performing yajna to our Lord Yamaraj and our progenitor Maharaj Chitrgupta on this great day of Yamadwitiya. O King Sudass, whoever performs this puja is spared the punishments of hell. You can be free from hell if you will only submit to Yamaraj and Chitraguptaji, who has the record of all the sins that you have done in your vile life! Nothing in this world is hidden from Him and only He could save you. On one hand is salvation and on the other is hell. Come, join us or kill us all.”
The king was left dumbfounded and followed the young priest as if in a trance. He then performed the puja with full devotion and the exact procedure. Thereafter he took the ‘prasaad’ and went back to his kingdom with the other men.
Temples
There are several temples in India, particularly in South India, enshrining the Lord Chitragupta. The most famous of them is located at Kanchipuram .
One of the ancient temples of Chitraguptaji is situated in Khajuraho.
The Family Tree
Shree Chitraguptaji married Devi Nandani and Devi Shobhavati and had twelve divine Sons. The 12 Sons started the 12 main branches of Brahma Kayastha.
The 12 clans of Brahma Kayastha:
Mathur
Gour
Bhatnagar
Saxena
Ambashtha
Nigam
Karna
Kulshreshtha
Srivastava
Surdhwaja
Valmiki
Asthana
Sons of Mata Shobhavati
Shree Charu (Mathur): He was a disciple of sage Mathure, Rashi name was Dhurandhar, was married to Devi Pankajakshi and worshipped Devi Durga. Mathureshwari. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Charu to establish a Kingdom in the Mathara region (between Mahanadi and Krishna River in Orissa). His descendants were known as the Mathurs. After defeating the demons, a term regularly used for the anti-Vedic tribes, they established the Kingdom of Mathara. This done, they also propagated to other part of Aryavartha. In the meanwhile they were further divided into 3 sub-divisions 1.The Mathurs of Mathara, 2.The Pancholi or Panchali of Pnachal Kingdom where in garwhal hills there is town of Mathara 3.The Kacchi of Gujrat. The Mathurs seemed to enjoy a long history of ruling many Kingdoms, the most important of which was Ayodhya, ruled by them before the Raghuvanshis took the reign. They are divided into 84 Als. They established Pandya Kingdom covering Madurai Trinivelli etc. They sent an emissary to the Roman Emperor Augustus Ceasar.
Shree Sucharu (Gaur): He was a disciple of sage Vashista, Rashi name was Dharamdutta and worshipped Devi Shakambari. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Sucharu to establish a Kingdom in the Gaud region. Shree Sucharu married Devi Mandhiya, the daughter of Nagaraj Vasuki. The gaurs are divided into five divisions: 1.Khare, 2.Doosre, 3.Bengali, 4.Dehlavi, 5.Vadanyuni. Gaur Kaystha have been further sub divided in 32 Als. Bhagdutta of Mahabharat and Rudradutta of Kalinga were famous.
Shree Chitraksh (Bhatnagar): He was a disciple of sage Bhat, was married to Devi Bhadrakalini and worshipped Devi Jayanti. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Chitraksh to establish a Kingdom in the region of Bhat river at Bhattdesh and Malwa.They established Chittor and Chitrakoot He settled then there and his progeny came to be known as Bhatnagar. They are divided into 84 Als.
Shree Matimaan (Saxena): He was married to Devi Kokalesh and worshipped Devi Shakambari. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Matimaan to establish a Kingdom in the Shak region. His(Shree Matimaan’s) son was a great warrior and established His kingdom in the modern day Kabul-Kandhar and Eurasia region and as they were sakha ( friends Of Sena )the progeny was called Shaksena or Saksena, a part of modern Iran was under their rule. Today they are abundantly found in the regions of Kannuaj,Pilibhit, Bareilly, Shahjahanpur, Badayu, Farrukhabad, Etta, Mainpuri, Aligarh. They are divided into Khare and Dusare and had 106 main Als at present. According to RC Majumdar, they were kings Shena of Shakas hence Shakashena which anglicised to Saxena.
Shree Himvaan (Ambashth): His Rashi name was Sarandhar, was married to Devi Bhujangakshi and worshipped Devi Amba-Mata. Settled in Girnar and kathiawar area called Amba-sthan, hence the name. Shree Himvaan had five divine sons Shree Nagasen, Shree Gayasen, Shree Gayadatta, Shree Ratanmool and Shree Devdhar and they married Gandharvyakanyas. These five Sons settled at different locations and accordingly their lineage spread their rule over these and were further divided into: Nagasen: 24 Als, Gayasen: 35 Als , Gayadatta: 85 Als, Ratanmool: 25 Als, Devdhar: 21 Als. Later they settled in Punjab after their defeat by Alexander's general and then by Chandragupt Maurya.
Shree Chitracharu (Nigam): His Rashi name was Sumant, was married to Devi Ashgandhmati and worshipped Devi Durga. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Chitracharu to establish a Kingdom in the Mahakoshal and the Nigam region (on the bank of river Saryu). His progeny were very proficient in the rules laid in Vedas and the Shastras, hence Nigam. Today they live in Kanpur, Fatehpur, Hamirpur, Banda, Jalon, Mahoba. They are divided into 43 main Als.
Shree Aruncharu (Karna): His Rashi name was Damodar, was married to Devi Kamakala and worshipped Devi Laxmi. They were Vaishnavites. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Aruncharu to establish a Kingdom in the Karna region (modern day Karnataka). His progeny slowly migrated to the Northern Kingdoms and now live abundantly in the present day Nepal, Orissa and Bihar. The Bihar branch is further divided into two; namely the ‘Gayaval Karna’ who settled in Gaya and the ‘Maithil-Karna’ who settled in the Mithila region.Later they adopted Buddhism. They are divided into an astounding 360 Als; this huge figure is attributed to the families who migrated in different phases from South. The clan has nothing to do with Karna of Mahabharata.
Shree Jitendra (Kulshreshtha): His Rashi name is Sadananda, was married to Devi Manjubhashini and worsipped Devi Laxmi. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Atiyendriya(also known as Jitendra) to establish a Kingdom in the Kannauj region. Shree Atiyendriya was one of the most religious and pious ascetic of the twelve Sons. He was known as ‘Dharmatama’ and ‘Pundit’ and was a master of passions; His progeny came to be known as Kulshrestha. Today the Kulshreshthas live abundantly in Mathura, Agra, Fawrookhabad, Etah, Etahwa and Mainpuri.A few are in Nandigaon ,Benga. Like Shree Shekhar kulsreshtha and Sugam Kulshreshtha as in Jalesar ( Etah ) Both of them were renowed writer.
Sons of Mata Nandani
Shree Shribhanu(Srivastava): His Rashi name was Dharamdwaj. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Shribhanu to establish a Kingdom in the Shrivaas(Srinagar)region in Kashmir and Kandhar. He was married to Nagaraj Vaasuki’s daughter Devi Padmini and two divine sons named Shree Devdatta and Shree Ghanshyam were born. Shree Devdatta got the rulership over Kashmir and Shree Ganshyam got the rulership over the banks of Sindhu river. They were called Srivastava ‘Khare’ born from second wife Kheri.Two divine sons named Shree Dhanvantari and Shree Sarvagya were born. They were called Srivastava ‘Doosre’.The Srivastavas are divided into 65 main Als.
Shree Vibhanu (Suryadhwaj): His Rashi name was Shyamsunder, was married to Devi Malti. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Vibhanu to establish the Kingdom in northern parts of the Kashmir region. Since Mother Dakshina was the daughter of Suryadev, the progeny of Shree Vibhanu carried the emblem of the Sun God on their flags and were called Suryadhwaj.Jarasandha of Mahabharat and Jamnaya of Taxila were well known.Later they settled at Magadh
Shree Vishwabhanu (Valmiki): His Rashi name was Deendayal and worshipped Devi Shakumbhari. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Vishwabhanu to establish a Kingdom in Valmiki region near Chirakoot and Narmada. Shree Vishwabhanu was married to Nagakanya Devi Bimbvati. He’s known to have spend a great part of his life practicing intense meditation(Tapasya) on the banks of river Narmada, when covered with the leaves of creeper Valmiki.His progeny were known as Valmiki.They became Vallabhpanthi. His son Shree Chandrakant settled in Gujarat while the other Sons migrated with their families to the North, near river Ganga and the Himalayas. Today they live in Gujarat and Maharashtra. They are also known as ‘Vallabhi Kayastha’ in Gujarat.
Shree Viryabhanu (Asthana): His Rashi name Madhavrao, was married to Devi Singhdwani. Maharaj Chitraguptji sent Shree Viryabhanu to establish a Kingdom in Adhisthana. His progeny came to be known as Asthana as Ramnagar-Varanasi's king bestowed them with eight jewels.Some say that they had no fixed sthan, hence the name. Today the Asthanas live abundantly in various districts of U.P. In Bihar they live in Saran, Sivaan, Champaran, Mujjafarpur, Sitamadhi, Darbhanga, Bhagalpur regions. Their population is also notable in U.P.’s neighboring state M.P. They are divided into 5 main Als.
ALs
These twelve sub-castes are further divided into ALs. A Vansh originates from a King, a Rishi or a Deity and as it grows it divides itself in to several branches. The descendents start to build their own sub-Vansh depending upon the places and situations met, at the same time acknowledging their submission to the MOOL Vansh. These sub-Vansh add specific nouns to their names which in case of the Chirtagupta Vansha(Chitranshi) are called the Als (Kindly be clear upon the point that the 12 main sub-castes are acknowledged divisions based on the family of the 12 Sons, they are not called Als, their further divisions are what Als are) One has to be careful to avoid confusing them with Gotra. Gotra goes after the name of a Vedic Rishi, who was either a Guru, RajGuru or Progenitor of that Vansh. The gotra for a MOOL Vansh is always the same. It is Kashayap for the Kayasthas. Thus, a Vanshaz can be known from his Gotra and Al (The term Kul is often used for Al, though the former has a much broader meaning).The Als can be thousands in number and must be added to the name in conjunction with one of the 12 main sub-castes. The ignorance of this law is precisely the reason why so many can not find their surnames mentioned amongst the 12 main sub-castes.
Aspects of Kayastha culture
Endogamy
Kayasthas practice family exogamyand caste endogamy preferring to marry only within their sub-castes. The individuals of same Al can not intermarry, while those of same caste and different Als can. Thus an individual from Srivastava subcaste and Pandey Al should not marry another Pandey of the same subcaste but can marry an individual belonging to another al of the same subcaste. Though not required, it is still widely practiced as a tradition.
Worship
Kayasthas worship ShreeChitraguptaji and on Bhai-Dooj, they celebrate Kalam-Dawaat Pooja (pen, ink-pot and sword worship), a ritual in which pens, papers and books are worshipped. This is the day when Shree Chitraguptji was created by Lord Bramha and Yamaraj got relieved of His duties and used this leave to visit His sister Devi Yamuna; hence the whole world celebrates Bhaiya dooj on this day and the Kayastha celebrate ShreeChitraguptajayanti, i.e. the 'Birthday' of their progenitor.
By worshipping Chitragupta who is their ancestor, kayasthas have the singular distinction of being the only "Ancestor-worshipping" sect of Hinduism.

Food

Unlike most Baniya (Vaishya) or Brahmins, and like Kshatriyas, Kayasthas eat onions, garlic, meats like mutton and chicken, fish and eggs, though a large number are also vegetarians. Meat eating kayasthas do avoid beef as the cow is considered sacred for Hindus.
It is believed though not yet proved that Kayasthas of holy towns like Prayag, Mathura, Varanasi, etc. are purely vegetarians, while in other areas they may be mixed. It is said that Kayasthas started eating meat during the Muslim period when they socially mixed with the Muslims. It is also said that Kayasthas have the best eating sense, because amongst Hindus, Kayasthas add the largest varieties of food to their diet.
Social
Of all the other castes in India, Kayasthas are the easiest to mingle with other castes. They did this when the Muslims came to India, and modern examples of this are Kayasthas outside India where they mingle with other castes more than they mingle among themselves. This cosmopolitan outlook distinguishes members of this caste, and along with the great emphasis on education, is to a large extent responsible for their success in changing times.
History
Kayastha ministers find mention in Hindu mythology. Prior to the Raghuvanshis, Ayodhya was ruled by Mathur Rulers, progeny of Chitragupta.
The Kayastha who are represented by the "Kayats" or the hereditary caste of the scribes of the present day, formed originally a sub-military class. The Anthropological Survey of India conducted a survey during the British Raj which concluded that the Kayastha community were also influential during the Mauryan period as administrators. Also, many proof have been found that the Hindu Kings used to grant lands to the Kayasthas, a practise enjoyed only by a particular caste. Also, it is but logical to consider the status of the Kayasthas when Sanskrit was the state language under the Hindu Kings.
Kayasthas have a unique distinction of having a script - Kaithi - associated with their name. Kaithi (also known earlier as Kayati, Kayathi or Kayasthi), similar to Dev Nagri, was used mainly by Kayasthas in northern India. It has its own Unicode now.
The Kayastha were one of the most influential Caste in Kashmiri politics around 7th century (ref. Rajatarangini) .The economic status of the Kayastha community bettered than that of other castes when the Muslims conquered India.Other Indian castes would typically not find employment under the Muslim rulers, as they could not learn the Muslim languages of Persian, Arabic and later Urdu . On the other hand, the Kayastha community as a whole traditionally put a lot of emphasis on education and prospered during the Islamic period of India. Many Kayasthas were forced to convert to Islam in this period and adopted the title Shaikh .
Kayasthas down the ages
Kayasthaindia developed expertise in Persian (the state language in Islamic India), learnt Turkish, Arabic and later Urdu, economics, administration and taxation. Kayastha india's successfully adapted themselves as scribes and functionaries under Islamic rule and later on under the British . Their adaptability and lifestyle was an asset which allowed them to succeed. The Kayasthaindia community, in the colonial era, learnt English, whilst the more affluent ones sent their children to England. Many Kayasthaindia became civil servants, tax officers, junior administrators, teachers, legal helpers and barristers. They rose to the highest positions accessible to natives in British India . Kayasthas in modern India
Post independence Kayasthas rose to the highest positions including the first President of India, Dr. Rajendra Prasad, third Prime Minister of India, Lal Bahadur Shastri, Swami Vivekananda, Subhash Chandra Bose, Amitabh Bachchan, Raju Srivastava, judges, top civil servants and high ranking officers in the Indian armed forces. Other Kayasthas emigrated to the West in the 1970s and 80s.
Prominent Kayasthas
Dr Rajendra Prasad rose to become the first President of the Republic of India. Dr Sampurnanand was the first Chief Minister of U.P. and Governor of Rajasthan, besides being a literary figure. Jayaprakash Narayan brought down Indira Gandhi , Subhas Chandra Bose fought the British rule militarily. Shanti Swarup Bhatnagar, Satyendra Nath Bose and Jagdish Chandra Bose were eminent scientists. Munshi Prem Chand, Harivansh Rai Bachchan, Satyendra Chandra Mitra a freedom fighter, Raghupat Sahai "Firaque" Gorakhpuri, Dr Vrindavan Lal Verma, Dr. Ram Kumar Verma, Mahadevi Varma , Kamla Chaudhury, Dr Dharm Vir Bharti and Bhagavati Charan Verma have been men of letters. Swami Vivekanand and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi were philosophers. Alakh Kumar Sinha was the first Indian Inspector-General of Police. Gen S.K. Sinha, PVSM, has served as Indian Ambassador to Nepal, Governor of Assam and Governor of Jammu & Kashmir.Amitabh Bachchan and Shatrughan Sinha have excelled in the film world, Raju Srivastava have done best in the field of Comedy, Mukesh, Sonu Nigam in the world of music, and Ambarish Srivastava is in the field of Literature only .
This is a list of noteworthy people of the Kayastha caste of India.
Spirituality
Swami Vivekananda
Sri Aurobindo
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
Paramhansa Yogananda
Prabhupada
Statesmen
Dr. Rajendra Prasad- The first President of India.
Netajee Subhash Chandra Bose
Loknayak Jayaprakash Narayan
Sri Lal Bahadur Shastri
Economists/management
Aishwaryaraj Sahai
C. D. Deshmukh
Amartya Sen
Politics
Jyoti Basu
Balasaheb Thackeray
Raj Thackeray
Yashwant Sinha
Biju Patnaik
Shiv Charan Mathur
Naveen Patnaik
Literature
Ram Ganesh Gadkari
Munshi Premchand
Mahadevi Varma
Dr. Vrindavan Lal Verma
Harivansh Rai Bachchan
Bhagwati Charan Verma
Nirmal Verma
Ramkumar Verma
Dharmavir Bharati
Bimal Mitra
Premendra Mitra
Gopinath Mohanty
Manoj Das
Jibananda Das
Buddhadeva Bose
Firaq Gorakhpuri
Nirad Chaudhuri
Amitav Ghosh
Kamleshwar
Phanishwar Nath Renu
Acharya Shivpujan Sahay
Acharya Ramlochan Saran
Ambarish Srivastava
Science & technology
Dr. Shanti Swaroop Bhatnagar
Dr. Jagadis Chandra Bose
Dr.Satyendra Nath Bose
Vinod Dham
Sisir Kumar Mitra
Mriganka Sur
Art
Meenakshi Sahai
Nandlal Bose
Jamini Roy
Jatin Das
Films, television and music
Amitabh Bachchan
Abhishek Bachchan
Aadesh Srivastav
Anil Biswas
Gautam Ghose
Manna Dey
Madhur Jaffrey
Motilal
Mukesh
Neil Nitin Mukesh
Nandita Das
Nutan
Raju Srivastava
Rhona Mitra
Salil Chowdhury
Shekhar Suman
Shobhana Samarth
Sombhu Mitra
Sonu Nigam
Tanuja
Utpal Dutt
Bipasha Basu
Shatrughan Sinha
Chitragupt
Anand-Milind
Koena Mitra
Adhyayan Suman
Rahul Bose
Shriya Saran
Harshit Saxena
Historians
Sir Jadunath Sarkar
Banarsi Prasad Saxena
Ashirwadi Lal Srivastava
Sports
Gopal Bose
Shib Sunder Das
Dipu Ghosh
Raman Ghosh
Subroto Guha
Ramesh Saxena
Freedom fighters
Chittaranjan Das
Ganesh Shankar Vidyarthi
Bipin Chandra Pal
Subhash Chandra Bose
Khudiram Bose
Rash Behari Bose
Har Dayal
Barin Ghosh
Surya Sen
Journalists
Tushar Kanti Ghosh
Chandan Mitra
Sagarika Ghose
Administration
Rajveer Sahai
Basanta Kumar De
Gurusaday Dutt
Sir Sarat Kumar Ghosh
S. K. Sinha
Shyam Saran
Girish Chandra Saxena
Anami Narayan Roy

A Clip From Last Legion

A Clip From The Last Legion -

Most Important Photos in History

SBI SCRAPS MEDICAL BENEFIT SCHEMES FOR RETIRED EMPLOYEES

Posted: Saturday, Jun 28, 2003 at 0000 hrs IST



As a measure of severe cost control, the country’s biggest public sector commercial bank, State Bank of India (SBI), has decided to discontinue SBI Retired Employees Medical Benefit Scheme.

An internal circular issued by SBI’s deputy managing director and corporate development officer’s office stated, the bank’s staff and officers retiring from July 1, 2003 onwards would not be entitled to benefits under the scheme. However, SBI has clarified that those retiring before June 30 would be entitled to the benefits and retired employees already enjoying the scheme will continue to do so.

Under the Scheme, retired employees enjoying the pension scheme will be entitled to medical reimbursements up to Rs 2,00,000 provided they forego one month’s pension.

A circular dated June 19 stated, the bank’s actuaries have found that the fund bearing the medical expenses of retired employees is under great pressure since many more have retired under the voluntary retirement scheme (VRS)...

Aims of Retired Railway Employees Welfare Association (RREWA)

RREWA Pensioners Network:

Is a pensioner’s electronic media platform with basic purpose:-
(1). That the pensioner's network amongst themselves for developing an approach to individual / collective problems.
(2). Provide emotional support to each other and high light their problems at local & higher level.
(3). To help eliminate ills of Indian society, by utilizing experience and good values learnt from life.
(4). To develop Sr citizens own print /electronic media by coordinating & net working the Publications & Websites of Different Sr Citizens/Pensioners Forums.
(5). To empower Pensioners/Family pensioners/Sr Citizens through information, awareness & knowledge.
(6). To stand shoulder to shoulder with the administration & the fellow citizens in case of calamities.
RREWA through electronic media endeavors to cater to the requirement of pensioners of all categories, status & departments of Central, state Government & the Senior Citizens.
Aims & objectives
(1). To protect & secure legitimate rights of retired employees & the Sr citizens.
(2). To inculcate feeling of equality, brotherhood and unity.
(3). To educate members of their rights and duties, to redress and plead for their grievances before an appropriate authority.
(4). To manage an ideal association and to arrange social and cultural gatherings from time to time.
(5). To promote technical & occupational facilities to uplift the retired employees/Sr citizens and their family members.
(6). To promote educational facilities through adult education.
(7). To provide Sewing centers and other small projects for widows/poor ladies of retired employees.
(8). To develop a common platform for providing social service to the society.
Vision
Demographical aging has hit the Indian shares as well. People are living longer & life expectancy is steadily rising, already elderly have 13% share in Indian Electoral. Average voting percentage in Indian elections is 55.5%, but voting percentage of 60+ persons in every election is staggering 90%. Thus actual vote share of Sr citizens is 20%. Still they are a neglected lot!
every election is staggering 90%. Thus actual vote share of Sr citizens is 20%. Still they are a neglected lot! Pensioners are a major chunk of Indian intelligent voter who are armed, with vast knowledge & experience. They can not be a helpless lot. They are still capable of turning the tides.
Why not then Pensioners take a lead in uniting Sr citizens?
So, Come on, let us commit ourselves to this mission.
How do we propose to implement our vision
1. Start communicating with each other Communication is the basic step for forging unity, understanding each other & for solving problems, so start communicating with each other.
(I) At local level:-
(a) Communicate with your own members
(b) With Pensioners Associations of other departments, with Sr.Citizen Forums, With NGOs/social organizations, with Associations/trade unions of working employees, with VIPS and the Media.
(II) At National level:- Communicate regularly with inter department Pensioners Associations, with pensioners’ confederations / Samaj & With Sr Citizens Associations /confederations /Federations.
2. Start helping each other at local as well as at National level If one Association is facing some problem let us show solidarity by extending our support to it in what ever way possible. At least write a few lines to the concerned authorities supporting the affected Association.
3. In case of a National emergency or a natural calamity stand shoulder to shoulder with the Administration & the fellow citizen.

Quotes About Stupidity

Quotes About Stupidity

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Anonymous

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and consciencious stupidity."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."
-Bertrand Russell

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
-Confucius

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
-Bertrand Russell

"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."
-Sloan Wilson

"A stupid child is ruin to a father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain."
-The Bible: Hebrew, Proverbs 19:13

"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump

"'Stupid as a man,' say the women: 'cowardly as a woman,' say the men. Stupidity in a woman is unwomanly."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
-Thomas Szasz

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
-George Bernard Shaw

"To be stupid and selfish and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
-Gustave Flaubert

"Sure the people are stupid: the human race is stupid. Sure Congress is an inefficient instrument of government. But the people are not stupid enough to abandon representative government for any other kind, including government by the guy who knows."
-Bernard Devoto

"There is no cure for stupid wives and willful children."
-Chinese proverb

"A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband."
-Chinese proverb

"Unless one pretends to be stupid and deaf, it is difficult to be a mother-in-law or father-in-law."
-Chinese proverb

"The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat."
-Oscar Wilde

"You even called me stupid in your verse, and I’m almost agreeing, for where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, friend."
-Franz Grillparzer

"Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives."
-Oscar Wilde

"One always has the idea of a stupid man as perfectly healthy and ordinary, and of illness as making one refined and clever and unusual."
-Thomas Mann

"The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them."
-Oscar Wilde

"I had rather be an oyster than a man, the most stupid and senseless of animals."
-George Berkeley

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
-George Bernard Shaw

"We have no words for speaking of wisdom to the stupid. He who understands the wise is wise already."
-G.C. Lichtenberg

"There are only two races on this planet-the intelligent and the stupid."
-John Fowles

"Between a fellow who is stupid and honest and one who is smart and crooked, I will take the first. I won’t get much out of him, but with that other guy I can’t keep what I’ve got."
-Gen Lewis B Hershey, Director, Selective Service System

"One must be a little foolish, if one does not want to be even more stupid."
-Michel de Montaigne

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid."
-P.J. O’Rourke

"Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be 'too clever by half.' The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters."
-John Major

"You have to believe in God before you can say there are things that man was not meant to know. I don’t think there’s anything man wasn’t meant to know. There are just some stupid things that people shouldn’t do."
-David Cronenberg

Detachment adds quality and we give our best !!

Detachment adds quality to each and every action.


When we are detached, we will not be bound by the action itself, but will perform the action in a detached way. This means that we perform the action, yet we are not dependent on the fruits of the action. This automatically increases its quality. Then we would be free and uninfluenced by the bondage of the action. In any situation where we find ourselves doing a lot yet with a feeling of not attaining anything, we should ask ourselves if we are attached to the task at hand. The more we are attached, the quantity of work that we put in increases at the cost of the quality. When we are detached we are able to give our best in all that we do.


~ Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu

I Am God - By Rowanman28

I know that some people may not agree with me, but I do believe that I am God. I will tell you why.

I do not believe in the same type of God that some people believe in. I am a Pantheist, which means simply that I believe the universe itself is God.

My interpretation of the word God may be different from yours, but to me, it just means the eternal universe, constantly moving and changing form into beings like us.

I do not believe in a God which has a single united intelligence, but that God is made up of many beings such as you and me, and this is probably the only intelligence of God.

I believe that "God" or the universe, is all the one thing, and that individuality is an illusion. To understand this better, see my earlier article, I am the universe.

As I explain in that article, the only thing which makes us separate from each other, and from the non-living molecules around us is the perception that we are in fact separate, when we are not.

Everything is the one thing (God), the universe is eternal energy that has randomly formed into beings with the illusion of separation from each other, when in fact, it is still one.

The interesting thing is in my view I have written this article an infinite amount of times, perhaps in an (almost) infinite amount of different languages, and even as an (almost) infinite amount of different intelligent beings.

In another universe, I may be a reptile alien bellowing in an alien language "I am God" but nevertheless, I have said it an infinite amount of times already, and will say it an infinite amount of times again.

The funny part of recognizing that individuality is an illusion, is that right now, I am you, and you are me, but yet you are convinced that you are only yourself.

Where do I get all of this nonsense? If you are interested, I suggest looking into Zen Buddhism, particularly read some of the haikus of enlightened masters. Here is one by the Zen master Daito, which he told upon meeting Emperor Godaigo:

"We were parted many thousands of Kalpas ago, yet we have not been separated for even a moment. We are facing each other all day long, yet we have never met."

NEGATIVITY

Nobody’s immune to feelings of negativity. No matter how optimistic you try to be,

there are times in your life when you feel depressed or angry. Sometimes these negative feelings hang around and you just can’t shake off the sensation of gloom. You worry constantly and can’t find solutions to any of your problems, and there’s no end in sight to your difficulties. How can you go from seeing the glass as perpetually half empty to half full?

Do Something Different:

Many times people feel depressed or bored with life because they don’t have anything new going on. It’s easy to fall into routines and dig yourself into a rut so deep you have a hard time getting out. By doing something different you’re interrupting those well-worn neuro-pathways and forcing your brain to wake up and take notice. Drive a different way home from work. Shop at a new store. Try a new recipe. Brush your teeth with the opposite hand. Change around your furniture. Read a completely different type of book or magazine than you normally would. Take a short class at the local community college.

Make a Solutions List:

If you’re feeling negative because problems are looming before you with seemingly no way around them, sit down and brainstorm ways to overcome your current situation. Write down anything and everything, no matter how mundane or silly it may seem and you’ll probably come up with some workable solutions in the process. Every problem has at least one solution.

Set a Goal:

Without constant goals it’s easy to fall into a funk. Think of some dreams or interests you may have been putting off and dedicate yourself to pursuing them. Whether you’ve wanted to lose weight, paint, take a dance class, further your education, run a marathon, or come up with a new inventions, do it! Nothing gets your energy flowing better than having something worthwhile to look forward to.

Go Back In Time:

Think back to a time in your life when things were working, when you felt healthy, happy, and optimistic. What were you doing then? How was your life different than it is now? Try to do those things now if possible. Nobody has ever been depressed or negative from the moment of conception! If you can repeat your actions of the past your mind will home in on those old feelings and you should soon feel a shift in your energy level. You may need to fake it for awhile if you’ve been living with negativity for some time, though it’s not impossible to get back the “old you.”

Exercise Daily:

This is one of the fastest and easiest ways to change your mood around. Exercising is not only good for your heart and body, but it releases endorphins in your brain that dramatically boost your mood. Getting yourself into the exercise habit is usually the most difficult part, but keep in mind that the benefits far exceed the laziness you experience beforehand.

These are some of the best tips for overcoming negativity. Try them all or choose the ones you think will work best for you. It’s not impossible to feel happier, more energetic, and to face each day with a positive outlook. All it takes is a bit of effort and commitment to actually make changes

Author : Kelly Wallace "5 Tips to Get Rid of Negativity.

Typical Kinds of Love Addicts

In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it. Twenty years ago, our understanding of love addiction was still emerging out of our understanding of codependency. Therefore, love addiction and codependency seemed to be one in the same. However, today we understand that this is not true. Love addiction stands alone, and codependency is only one of several underlying personality disorders. To make it perfectly clear how one love addict differs from another LAA has prepared the following list:

Obsessed Love Addicts (OLAs) cannot let go, even if their partners are:

Unavailable emotionally or sexually; afraid to commit; cannot communicate;unloving;distant; abusive; controlling and dictatorial; ego-centric; selfish; or addicted to something outside the relationship (hobbies, drugs, alcohol, sex, someone else, gambling, shopping etc.)

Codependent Love Addicts (CLAs) are the most widely recognized. They fit a pretty standard profile. Most of them suffer from low self-esteem and have a certain predictable way of thinking, feeling and behaving. This means that from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem, they try desperately to hold on to the people they are addicted to using codependent behavior. This includes enabling, rescuing, caretaking, passive-aggressive controlling, and accepting neglect or abuse. In general, CLAs will do anything to “take care” of their partners in the hope that they will not leave—or that someday they will reciprocate.

Relationship Addicts (RAs), unlike other love addicts, are no longer in love with their partners but they cannot let go. Usually, they are so unhappy that the relationship is usually affecting their health, spirit and emotional well being. Even if their partner batters them, and they are in danger, they cannot let go. They are afraid of being alone. They are afraid of change. They do not want to hurt or abandon their partners. This can be described as “I hate you don’t leave me.”

Narcissistic Love Addicts (NLAs) use dominance, seduction and withholding to control their partners. Unlike codependents, who accept a lot of discomfort, narcissists won’t put up with anything that interferes with their happiness. They are self-absorbed and their low self-esteem is masked by their grandiosity. Furthermore, rather than seeming to obsess about the relationship, NLAs appear aloof and unconcerned. They do not appear to be addicted at all. Rarely do you even know that NLAs are hooked until you try to leave them. Then they will no longer be aloof and uncaring. They will panic and use anything at their disposal to hold on to the relationship—including violence. Many professionals have rejected the idea that narcissists can be love addicts. This may be because they rarely come in for treatment. However, if you have ever seen how some narcissists react to perceived or real abandonment, you will see that they are indeed “hooked.”

Ambivalent Love Addicts (ALAs suffer) from avoidant personality disorder—or what SLAA calls emotional anorexia. They don’t have a hard time letting go, they have a hard time moving forward. They desperately crave love, but at the same time they are terrified of intimacy. This combination is agonizing. ALAs come in different forms too. They are listed below.

Torch Bearers are ALAs who obsess about someone who is unavailable. This can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the person they are in love with. Some torch bearers are more addicted than others. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies and illusions. It is also known as unrequited love.

Saboteurs are ALAs who destroy relationships when they start to get serious or at whatever point their fear of intimacy comes up. This can be anytime—before the first date, after the first date, after sex, after the subject of commitment comes up—whenever.

Seductive Withholders are ALAs who always come on to you when they want sex or companionship. When they become frightened, or feel unsafe, they begin withholding companionship, sex, affection—anything that makes them feel anxious. If they leave the relationship when they become frightened, they are just Saboteurs. If they keep repeating the pattern of being available/unavailable, they are seductive withholders.

Romance Addicts are ALA who are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts, who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with each of their partners—to one degree or another— even if the romantic liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously. By “romance” I mean sexual passion and pseudo emotional intimacy. Please note that while romance addicts bond with each of their partners to a degree, their goal (besides getting high off of romance and drama) is to avoid commitment or bonding on a deeper level with one partner. Often romance addicts are confused with sex addicts.

A Note about ALAs: Not all avoidants are love addicts. If you accept your fear of intimacy and social situations, and do not get hooked on unavailable people, or just keep your social circle small and unthreatening you are not necessarily an ALA. But if you eat your heart out over some unavailable person year after year, or sabotage one relationship after another, or have serial romantic affairs, or only feel close when you are with another avoidant, you may be an Ambivalent Love Addict.

Combinations: You may find that you have more than one type of love addiction. Many of these types overlap and combine themselves with other behavioral problems. For instance, you may be a codependent, alcoholic love addict. Or a love/relationship addict. The important thing is to identify your own personal profile so you know what you are dealing with.

Robert was a love addict, relationship addict, romance addict and sex addict. He was married but did not want to divorce his wife of twenty years even though he was not in love with her (relationship addiction) His hobby was masturbating to pornography when his wife was not home (sex addiction). He had affairs with several other women simultaneously without his wife finding out. He really cared about each of these women (romance addict). One day he met Jennifer and fell in love with her. It did not take long before he was obsessed with her. She did not want to be with him because he was married, so he began stalking and harassing her (love addict). Robert finally got into recovery, divorced his wife, gave up the pornography and affairs and married the woman he was obsessed with. At first his jealousy was out of control, but after a few years of therapy and 12-Step meetings he began to trust his new wife. Because she was mature, well-grounded and had high self esteem, the relationship began to normalize. Today, all of Robert’s addictions are in remission.

Narcissists and Codependents: It is very common for love addicts to end up in relationships with other love addicts. The most common kind of love-addicted couple is, as you might have guessed, the codependent and the narcissist. In the beginning, narcissists are often seductive. After they have hooked their codependent partners, however, they change. Here is an example of a narcissist/codependent relationship.

Nancy and James met at a bar and were instantly attracted to one another. Within days, Nancy (the codependent) had fallen madly in love with James (the narcissist). From the beginning, she was helpful, nurturing, attentive and went out of her way to make him happy. James, on the other hand, appeared to be able to take or leave the relationship after they made love. He canceled dates, neglected to return phone calls, saw other women, became very domineering and for the most part seemed aloof and detached. Still, six months later, Nancy married James because she was in love with him and secretly hoped that he would change.

After Nancy and James were married, the pattern of neglect continued—especially his affairs with other women. When Nancy objected, James bullied her until she stopped nagging him about it. This went on for years. Nancy tried to save her marriage by placating James in every way she could think of, but he continued to do what he wanted. Eventually, Nancy stopped loving James and thought about leaving him, but she just couldn't bring herself to face the loneliness of being single again. This was better than nothing she thought. So she continued her codependent behavior, always trying to keep James happy and comfortable even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness in the process. Eventually, Nancy sought counseling and within a year she felt strong enough to leave James. He had other ideas. The first time Nancy brought up the subject of divorce he laughed at her. Then he threatened her verbally. The day she presented him with divorce papers, he beat her so badly she had to go to the hospital. It seems that despite his lack of love and respect for Nancy, James was addicted to her and the relationship they shared. He also felt that if he couldn't have her, nobody else could.

Eventually, Nancy got away from James even though he stalked her for months—threatening to kill her if she didn't come back. Thankfully, he eventually let go. However, you only have to read the newspapers to realize that such a lethal combination of codependency and narcissism can lead to homicide.

Switch-hitting: Many love addicts switch-hit because they have more than one underlying personality disorder. For instance, a relationship addict may play the role of a codependent for years, then finally get out of the relationship and fall in love with someone who is unavailable. Suddenly, our relationship addict is an obsessed love addict or a torchbearer. Even narcissists switch-hit—believe it or not. For years they be in one relationship after another playing the role of the dominant, uncaring partner. However, if they ever fall hard, they can easily turn into a torchbearer or obsessed love addict. If they fall in love with another narcissist then they have no choice but to become the codependent love addict in the relationship because the narcissist will not stand for anything else. Even ambivalent love addicts will start obsessing instead of running away when they are addicted.

Love addicts switch-hit because of separation anxiety. If another form of behavior is necessary to placate a partner and to hold on the him or her, the love addict will adopt that behavior. Is it an act? Sometimes . . . but if the love addict has weak personality boundaries, they may actually become the other person while under the spell of the addiction.. The point here is not to identify all the kinds of switch-hitting going on, or to even explain it, but o point it out and learn from it.

Conclusion: The Importance of All This: If all this seems complicated it is. And, to be honest, the only reason it is important is because it makes a difference when it comes to treatment. Codependent love addicts, for instance, need a boost in self-esteem and self-acceptance. They must learn to think better of themselves. Narcissistic love addicts, on the other hand, use grandiosity to bolster their low self-esteem and need to come down to earth. They need to learn some humility and how to become “unselfish.” Ambivalent Love Addicts need to find a healthy relationship and stay engaged it even when their fear threatens to overwhelm them. Most of all, understanding as much as you can about love addiction will form the basis of your Fourth Step Inventory in LAA or lay the groundwork for professional therapy.
Author's Bio

Susan Peabody is the author of Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships.

Osho - A Man Of Real Enjoyment Is Herenow

Question - Beloved Osho, We like life and its enjoyments and think that we belong to the halfhearted, Yet we really don't want to go unless you kick us out.

Osho - Then you must have misunderstood me. I am not against life. I am not against any enjoyment. In fact, what I am saying is that the way you are living, you are not enjoying life. The way you are living, you only dream that you enjoy. You simply suffer. You remain miserable. You simply hope.

Hope is not enjoyment. Hope is just a trick of the mind to console, to somehow convince oneself that today is gone but tomorrow everything is going to be good. Today one is in misery, tomorrow one will not be in misery. One dreams, hopes, projects.


Osho on Enjoyment


A man of real enjoyment is herenow. He never thinks of the morrow, there is no need to think of the morrow. If you are really happy you never think of the past, you never think of the future. Who bothers? for what? Your whole energy moves herenow, becomes an infinite dance of bliss, happiness, celebration.

I am not against life. I am not against enjoying it. If you have understood me that way, you have misunderstood me. My religion is of celebration. My religion is of delight. My religion is of dance. I don't want you to worship any god who cannot dance; then he is no more a god. I want to teach you how to live life so intensely, so passionately, that you live it and yet you don't cling to it, because clinging always shows a miserable mind. You cling to things only if you are not living them well.

So the first thing: as I see you, I see you miserable. You may be thinking you are enjoying life. Think again, meditate on the fact -- are you really enjoying it? If you are enjoying it, then there is no problem. Enjoy it with my blessings. But I know you are not enjoying it. You simply believe... because to see the naked fact of your misery will be too much, unbearable. So you go on pretending to yourself that you are enjoying life.

You go on smiling to hide your tears. You go on dressing yourself, painting yourself, to hide your wounds. You go on somehow, deceiving others and deceiving yourself that you are happy. It is not so. If you are happy, you have attained; then there is no need to meditate. If you are happy, then there is no need for any religion for you. Religion is needed as a means; religion is not the end. It is a method for those who are not yet happy, for those who are still in misery, in darkness, who are still in anguish and anxiety.

But I know: the anxiety is so much that you need a shelter, the anguish is so much that you need a dream, so that somehow you can hope -- hope for the future, the tomorrow.
Your heaven and your happiness is always somewhere else; it is never where you are. Real happiness is always here, it is always now. It knows no other time and no other space. If you are really happy, only happiness exists; you don't exist. Remember it: only in misery, you and misery -- two things -- exist. In happiness, only happiness.

Happiness is non-dual, what we call in India adwait. Misery is dual. In misery you are always two. Misery is a division of your being; cut apart, you are not an organic unity. Something goes against you. Something is there you never wanted to be there, but it is there, a thorn in the flesh. You suffer it in the hope that tomorrow it will not be so. But remember your yesterday? Your yesterday was also the same, and you were waiting for today because this today was tomorrow then. Now it has come. Nothing has happened. In the same way your other tomorrows will go on coming, but they always come as todays, they never come as tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes. It cannot come by its very nature; it is just a dream on the horizon. You can think about it but you cannot live it. It is a falsity. You think you are enjoying it? Rethink it, because I don't see it. I look inside you and I find you miserable there -- hiding it, but from whom are you hiding? And what is the point of hiding it? The more you hide it, the more it will become difficult to get rid of it; because the more you hide it, the deeper it goes. The deeper it goes, the more it poisons your very being; the very source of your life becomes more and more poisoned. Misery spreads. It becomes almost a part of you and then you don't know how to get rid of it.

So the first thing: I am for life, all for life, and all for enjoyment. I am not for somber seriousness, I am not for sadness. I am against all those religions which go on teaching people to be serious. God is not serious; otherwise flowers won't exist. God is not serious; otherwise birds won't be able to sing. God is tremendously in fun -- that's why we say in India that the creation is not a creation in fact but a play, a leela.

God is playing, he is like a child running hither and thither. Out of sheer energy, overflowing, enjoying, dancing a thousand and one dances, singing a thousand and one songs -- never exhausted, he goes on innovating, goes on peopling the earth. Each person is his new way of dance and each person is his new effort to sing again, to love again, to live again. Each person is again a project, again an effort. He is never tired. Infinite is his play.

God is not serious. God is not Christian. He does not live in a church. He is festive. Look at life: it is a constant festivity. Listen to these birds... a continuous festivity. See the trees go on flowering, the sun and the moon and the stars. From the lowest to the highest, it is the same rhythm of joy. Except for man nobody seems to be serious. Except for man, nobody seems to be worried and anxious. Except for man, the whole of life is fun.

No, I am not for seriousness. I am absolutely against it. I would like you to be playful. Listen to me well: I would like you even to pray as fun. Once seriousness enters in your prayer, it is already dead. I would like you to meditate like love -- a subtle delight, a continuous delight in just being here, in just being alive.

I am not against enjoyment, but I don't see that you are enjoying; hence meditation is needed. Meditation is to make you clean of your seriousness. Meditation is to make you aware of your deadliness. Meditation is to help you get rid of all the hangovers of the past, and all the projections and dreams of the future, so that you can be herenow, simply, spontaneously.

Meditation is to help you to enjoy so tremendously that you disappear in that enjoyment. If you remain, misery remains. Let me say it in this way: you are the misery. If you are, seriousness continues. Wherever you are, immediately you create a serious, somber climate around you; something is already dying. You are your death. You are the disease.

When you are enjoying, dancing, loving, or just sitting doing nothing, you are simply happy for no reason at all. And happiness needs no reason. If you are looking for reasons, you will never be happy. Happiness needs no cause; it cannot be caused. You cannot make it part of the world of cause and effect. It is absolutely illogical. If you want to be happy, be happy! Don't wait, don't arrange -- there is no need for any arrangement. You are capable of being happy just as you are. Nothing is lacking. If you can learn this much from me, you have learnt all, my whole art.

Happiness needs no cause. The cause is created by your misery. The misery says, "Today I am miserable, how right now can I be happy? First, preparations have to be made. Of course, then time will be needed, so tomorrow when everything is ready I will be happy. I have to find a beautiful wife; I have to find the perfect husband. I have to find a good house, a big car... this and that. This is possible only tomorrow. Right now, how is it possible? Time will be needed." This is the trick of the miserable mind.

The miserable mind says time is needed. The miserable mind lives in time, depends on time. Happiness has nothing to do with time. Just now, just herenow, please try to see the point. It is a question of seeing it. If you become a little alert you can see it right now. It is a realization.

Right now, who is barring your path? And if you are thinking that before you can be happy you have to find a perfect wife... it looks logical: how can you be happy without a perfect wife? But have you ever heard about any perfect wife? Have you ever heard about any perfect husband, a perfect house or a perfect car? All illusions.

I have heard about one man who was searching and searching and searching. He reached seventy, and somebody asked, "Is your search not over? When are you going to get settled?"
He said, "I am in search of a perfect wife."
"Seventy years have passed. Death is already knocking on the door. When will you settle?"
He said, "What can I do? How can you be happy without a perfect wife?"
The friend asked, "But you have been searching so long, couldn't you find one?"
He said, "Yes, once I did find one woman."
Then the man said, "Then why didn't you marry her?"
And the seventy-year-old seeker became very sad. He said, "It was difficult: she was also in search of a perfect husband!"

Perfection is a mind-demand, an ego-trip. Life is beautifully imperfect. Once you understand this, you start enjoying right now. And the more you enjoy, the more you become capable of enjoying.

Let me tell you: happiness needs no cause -- happiness needs only a habit of enjoying, just a natural quality, a capacity to enjoy. Nothing else is needed. And that capacity comes only by enjoying; by nothing else can it come. If you enjoy, you become more capable of enjoyment. The more you become capable, the more you enjoy. And this goes on and on; it reaches a higher and higher crescendo, a higher and higher peak.

Every moment comes out of this moment. The next moment will come out of this moment. If you have lived this moment totally, loved, delighted, the next moment will come out of this moment, and you will be born out of this moment. The next moment will open more possibilities and it will make you more capable.

Happiness is a capacity which you already have, but you have never functioned with it. It is as if a child has never been allowed to walk on his feet and he has become crippled. Not that he has not the capacity to walk, but he has never been allowed. The mother was too afraid he may fall down, so now he continues walking on all fours, because of fear. Every child is born to be happy as naturally as every child is born to walk. There is nothing else to it.

So your question is: "We like life and enjoyments" -- not as much as I do; otherwise, you would be a hundred percent in it -- "and think that we belong to the halfhearted."
You belong to the halfhearted because you have not loved life totally. Never think about my meditations as something other than life; never make them the opposite of life. I am not trying to give you coins other than life itself. I am not trying to make you convinced of some journey other than life. Life is the journey. Life is the goal.

Religion is not a separate journey. It is, really, to move in life so totally that life starts revealing all its secrets -- God, its innermost secret. Once you love and live life, it reveals more and more. Suddenly, one day, it reveals its secretmost center: God. Loving life, one day you love God. Living life, one day you live God.

So don't be halfhearted. Be totally in life. And I am not here to distract you from your life. It has already been done. The whole of humanity is suffering because of that. Religions have proved a calamity because they tried to make goals opposite to life, diametrically opposite to life.

George Gurdjieff used to say that all religions are against God. He seems to be absolutely right. Just think about religions: they all seem to be against God -- against life means against God.

God is not against life, this much is certain; otherwise, life would have ceased a long time ago. Your mahatmas may be against life, but God is not. Your mahatmas go on teaching you: Renounce! and God goes on creating more and more life. He doesn't seem to be an escapist, a renouncer; he seems to be tremendously and deeply involved and committed to life. His involvement is eternal. Just think: within a life of seventy or eighty years, you are fed up and tired and you are thinking to escape and go to the Himalayas -- and God has been for eternity and is not tired yet. He does not know what tiredness is; the energy is still fresh and young. It is as if it is in the beginning right now. The past is not carried. Each moment is a new creation.

If you become religious in my sense of the term, you will not renounce life. You will renounce yourself, not life. You will drop yourself and be totally one with life, so no division exists. The 'I', the ego, has to be dropped, not life.

Source - Osho Book "The Search"

Lords Rama & Krishna Say....

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her.- Lord Rama


And it came to pass on the eighth day, that Moses called Aaron and his sons, and the elders of Israel; / And he said unto Aaron, Take thee a young calf for a sin offering, and a ram for a burnt offering, without blemish, and offer them before the LORD.- Lord Rama

On this path effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure. Even a little effort toward spiritual awareness will protect you from the greatest fear.- Lord Krishna


Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve…Learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, you will achieve your destiny.- Lord Krishna




THE greatest formula that can liberate, cleanse and elevate the mind is Rama-Name, the Name of Rama.- Lord Rama

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character…Would you slow down? Or speed up?- Lord Rama

The Answer to the Great Question Of…..Life, the Universe and Everything…..(is) Forty-two.- Lord Krishna


The best way to waste your life, … is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don’t participate.- Lord Krishna



If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.- Lord Krishna



To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.- Lord Krishna


If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.- Lord Krishna


Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.- Lord Krishna




People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.- Lord Krishna

Your birth is a mistake you’ll spend your whole life trying to correct.- Lord Krishna


Strive to still your thoughts. Make your mind one-pointed in meditation.- Lord Krishna

Abandon all attachment to the results of action and attain supreme peace.- Lord Krishna
The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.- Lord Krishna

Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither liberty nor security- Lord Krishna

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.- Lord Krishna

I'am Afraid To Love You

Is love ever really a decision?

Everything is perfect,
and nothing makes sense.
One half-silly smile,
a split second knowing glance
and you’ve lifted me from the ground,
freed me from the laws of man and earth.

And just because of that,
I’m afraid to love you.

It’s not your fault.
Don’t blame yourself.
It’s me.
I’m afraid for you, and I’m afraid for me,
but I still feel my pulse racing
the instant you appear,
a tingling that starts in my fingertips,
then shoots up my body,.. a pulsating lightning bolt
that splashes into my mind
and explodes into.. hot.. blinding white light.
A buzzing, stomping insistence that I recognize
the affect you have on me.
I’m left short of breath, eyes wide, dizzy
and suddenly, longing for your gentle touch.

Chaos inside
I am everywhere
and nowhere.
I am limitless yet tethered
I am willingly losing control
but the fear balances on my edge…
I cannot lose control, again,
and the confusion makes me afraid.
Afraid to love you.

I know
if I let myself
I would be with you forever
which is much longer than a lifetime.
I would take all my choices, my dreams, my fear
and set them at your feet
my.. gifts of sacrifice for the only one
for who I would give my life

I would confess to you my joy
and hide in you my pain
for I know that you would view
each with a critical but loving eye,
You understand that I’m not the perfect man
that I pretend to be
you’re ok that sometimes
I’m not even up
to being me.
You accept me as I am.
You’re the only one.
It feels so right,
which is exactly why
I’m afraid to love you.

Still, I see it in you.
I’m not that blind.
I can see what I’m afraid to see.
You’re eyes shine when I talk to you
of simple things.
You’re breath catches in your throat
when you’ve made me smile
I make you laugh… You make me laugh.
At little things and when we’re angry.
When I am near you
I feel as though I should sing.
I wish for nothing
except our songs entwined.
I feel you tremble at my lightest touch.
You are a dove
un-fearful of my captive embrace.
I belong to you,
and you to me.

Oh God, help me
because that’s exactly why
I’m afraid to love you…